Where Do You Live?

A simple question that you probably thought, what do you care? But really it is not where you geographically live, but where do you psychology live. Now that is a thought provoking question.

That is the crux of the book I’m currently reading and it has been more than intriguing from a personal, career, and pretty much everywhere perspective. The Gap or the Gain… Where do you focus your attention and your thoughts.

Let me attempt to frame out what Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan have so eloquently shared throughout this book, but before that, let me give you some gains in my life. To the left is a picture of my wife and I at during our 20th Anniversary, we visited the place we got married at and spent a day there. This bridge is the place we got married on. We are now married 23 years and have so many gains to be thankful for and it is our marriage that is perfect for us. It is not the same as someone else's. Someone else may see our marriage differently, but to us it is all gain, it is ours and ours only. We do not need to compare it to anyone else's.

That frames up what the gap is, what is the ideal, what do you compare it to the space with where you are now and where your ideal is. Is it your ideal or comparing yourself to someone else's. This can be applied to just about any part of your life. If I look at it from a career perspective, my goal has always been to progress in my career as high as possible, which would be a Vice President, but when I started 23 years ago I was several levels below that at an Associate Analyst. The gap, is the space between that Analyst level and the VP level which seems huge, even 5 years later when I was a Lead Analyst (3 levels higher) that Gap is still quite far away and taking forever to get to. Each time I progressed, the time to improve to the next level took longer and the gap still seems so far away. Others progressed faster than I did, and took a different path...that is the gap. Focusing on the space between where I want to get be, what the ideal is and where I currently am, even after years of working compared to others.

The gain is the opposite of that, it is looking backward at all the achievements along the way. Sure the goal is still there but there are so many gains to look at. I realized long ago in my career when I was content and happy with where I was, opportunities began to open up for me. I can only answer this to what God’s word says in 1 Tim 6:6 “But godliness with contentment is great gain.” When I was content, I was happy and I worked like that, which further opened up new doors of growth. A few years ago, I mapped out my career growth, levels, salary, learnings, certifications and it helped me to see just how far I had come. Did I hit my goal yet, no, but I was on a good path, I was growing and had so many gains to be excited about that the gap no longer mattered and I could enjoy where I was at and what I had accomplished, while still making progress towards my goal.

So where does your mind live, the Gap or the Gain. When you look at your finances are you focused on how short you are from where you want to be or how much you have accomplished up to this point. When you look at your life, what are the gains you can celebrate, with yourself, your family or your friends?

Stop looking at the gap, stop comparing yourself to others. The only one to compare yourself to is you and look at all you have accomplished. When we realize all the gains in our lives, we can become our best selves and I guarantee that will help you to find happiness and contentment.

God Bless!

Book Recommendation - The Gap and the Gain by Benjamin Hardy